stay at home mom

i never realized how difficult being a stay at home mom is until i was one. and i just wanted to say "yay for stay at home moms!*" it's hard and sometimes overlooked as one of the most difficult, yet worthwhile jobs to have.

so why this post? well, i was sitting in bed last night, and it dawned on me that one of the hardest reasons i have being a stay at home mom is that parenting falls more on my shoulders than nat's. it's not that nat doesn't want to share that burden, but when he's working most of the hours that sean's awake, it's hard to share that 50-50. there are days that i wish i could just let someone take care of sean or teach him how to do something**. and yes, many people have offered to watch sean for me so that i don't get burned out. and in reality, i do want to be the one parenting him 99% of the time, but there are still just those days. :P (moms, you know what i'm talking about.) and in reality, sean is not a hard little boy to take care of. he's pretty easy, and i know that. i think it's the constant needing-to-be-alert-so-that-he-doesn't-get-into-trouble mode that i'm in that wears at me. the only time in the day that i get a break (when sean's awake) is when nat comes home and i make dinner***. so for all the moms out there that feel the way i do, i say, "YAY mom! good for you to stick it out! :)"

on another tangential note, nat and i had a little tiff about parenting last night. i began to feel the burden more than my liking. i had been feeling that i wasn't really getting a break from watching sean when nat came home b/c sean would be crawling around in the kitchen getting in my way. of course, i was terse and mean with nat and pointed out these things (b/c i was angry). at night, he admitted that being a dad is much harder than he pictured, and when it is, he just kinda shuts off and wants to be lazy. (hmm, much like what i described in the previous paragraph. with nat, he gets the luxury of me being at home and slacking off, though) but i'm very thankful that he was humble enough to admit these things to me last night (even though i was angry and didn't really respond to what he said). i'm also grateful that he desires to be a better dad, especially when it's hard. so here's a "YAY!" to all the dads out there that love, support, encourage, share the burden, and know how difficult it is for their wife to stay at home.

* i know it's hard to be a working mom as well, my mom was all her life.
** i think it's my human lazy mentality of letting someone else do it. :P
*** ironically, before sean, that was the time of day that i was most stressed.