people pleaser

i've always been a people pleaser, but in the past couple of years i've learned not to put so much weight in pleasing others or other people's opinion. unfortunately, that side is rearing it's ugly head again.

i'm taking the illinois certification testing system's basic skills test and math test. i have to take both of them as part of my application to the RECRUIT program. the basic skills test, i'm not too worried about (basic reading, writing, and math). it's the math test that i'm a worried about. it's a culmination of all the math areas you learn from 6th-12th grade. i've been told my numerous people, including one of the people from RECRUIT, that i shouldn't have a problem with it. well, i've been reviewing some of that material (algebra, linear algebra, geometry, trig, calc, etc.), and i'm not sure if i can pass. :P i don't care so much about passing, but i'm really scared to report my scores to RECRUIT if i fail. i'll feel really embarrassed and ashamed because (1) i hope that i'd know the material and (2) people have told me, given my background, that i should not have a problem passing.

ah, people-pleaser/people-carer is coming back! ah!!!!! go away, go away! :)

so, i just took the practice test. here is my overall thought: "uh-oh". here are some of my thoughts while actually taking the practice test:

• i don't know what these words mean.
  
• if only i had my X book, i'd remember how to do it
• what was that formula again?
• oh, that's how i can apply calculus!
• ah, geometry, i forgot how many theories, axioms, and proofs there are.
• i think i learned this a long time ago....
• i think i skimmed over this part when i was studying b/c i didn't think it was important. whoops!
  

let's hope that people are right when they say the actual test is easier (hopefully much easier) than the practice test!