in control

God has made me step outside my comfort zone with this beloved child. predictability, organization, patterns, routine, being in control--these are the things that make me comfortable. throw in a newborn, and voila, immediately outside of my comfort zone. sure, there have been days where sean has exhibited some routine, but then he changes. "roll with the punches" many moms have advised me. i try my best to "roll", but being flexible and dynamic has been difficult. that is where my need of God to go through this time period has been so evident. i want sean to follow the "textbook" newborn--a predictable feeding pattern and sleep schedule, hitting growth spurts at the right week for the right amount of time, etc. but sean isn't a machine, he's a human with his own unique style. i am learning (and need to learn) to embrace this uniqueness and celebrate it with joy, even if it causes me to have sleepless nights. :P

i would appreciate your prayers during this time, to really surrender my expectations and control to God and just really "roll with the punches". i know that as i surrender, i will become less anxious and tense. :)