honesty: is it the best policy?
i've had some people tell me they appreciate the honesty and openness of my posts on my blog. this week, my friend wrote me an e-mail the other day about how she really liked how honest i am about motherhood. i've been wondering, even before the e-mail, if my openness is such a good thing. particularly, i wonder if my posts about motherhood are edifying? (i feel that it might discourage and scare some women away from wanting to have children)
posted by Ramona @ 9:22 AM
3 Comments:
Ramona, it was great to see you guys yesterday. Have faith in your blogging efforts. You may worry about scaring women who are thinking of having children but -- the human desire to reproduce is really strong! On the other hand, think of the support you are offering to other women who might be having similar experiences adjusting to mom-hood (and everyone has some problems with that!). Your witness is telling them they're not alone. So hang in there.
I worry more about what Sean will think in 12 years when he comes across them. I try to imagine reading this from my mom and how I would feel about it. (I don't really know the answer.)
But, you aren't like my mom, so it isn't a fair comparison.
As long as you end up putting positive things in with the negative, I think it'll turn out alright.
Here's my opinion, and don't give it more value than it's worth: too many people have a very idealized concept of what having a baby is like, and then they get hit really hard by thoughts of frustration and failure when reality sets in and they have a child who isn't "on schedule" or "by the book." I personally feel that it's better to be open and honest about problems and weaknesses so that those women (and men!) don't feel like they're failures and that no one else has these problems. But then, one of my favorite bits of advice at baby showers is "when the baby has been crying for awhile and nothing is working, put him/her in a safe place and walk away to a place where you can't hear the crying for 15 minutes, so that you can calm down and regroup." (That's not exactly in the "parenting is the most wonderful thing" handbook.) :)
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