Always Only For My King

Take my voice and let me sing always, only for my King. Take my lips and let them be filled with messages from Thee. Take my silver and my gold not a mite would I withhold. Take my intellect and use every power as You choose. Here am I, all of me. Take my life, it's all for Thee.

Friday, January 27, 2006

taking the relationship to the next level

so i'm home for chinese new years. it's a pretty big deal in chinese culture, and for my family. it's like thanksgiving, easter, and Christmas, all rolled into one. anyways, my parents were kind enough to buy me a ticket to come home (nat went to go visit/help out a friend this weekend, which is why he isn't here).

anyways, i thought my mom was excited b/c she missed me (which she did), but i think that she's also really excited that we're starting to relate more like friends than mother-daughter. tonight, it was new and weird as she asked about married life and what nat and i fight about etc. don't get me wrong, it's great, but for me and my family (and i think it's typical asian), we aren't ones to "open" up and just talk about things like that. throughout my life, it's typically a conversation between parent and daughter. it hasn't been until probably the last few years where it's started changing.

i think that it's more drastic now b/c my parents see me more like an adult now that i'm married. i think in their eyes, that's when i became an "adult", and started treating me more like a friend. they kinda did that in grad school, but i still felt a little bit of "parent-ness" in our relationship. it's been freeing to feel like i'm an "adult" that makes my own decisions now. for instance, this week, i wrote an honest e-mail about why i want to go into teaching. before, i would have been scared to write such an e-mail for fear of disappointment, being reprimanded for my choice, etc. from my parents. and it was still a bit scary, and i still had some of those feelings, but it was nice to just be honest about it.

anyways, it was weird talking to my mom at dinner with her sudden openness and asking all these questions. she was giddy like a school girl (man, i'm going to be like her when i'm older! =P). but then, it reminded me a lot of when my mom goes back to taiwan and talks to her mom about her marriage and life. so, i get the feeling that my mom has been looking forward to this (and it makes it easier since nat's not here so we get one-on-one girl time). it's weird/neat/awkward, but hopefully i can adjust quick and share with her more. :)

just to end, this is our first time that we've been apart since we've been married, while we're still in the US (last september i went to rome first for a conference, and nat joined later). i miss my handsome redhead. le sigh, i guess the sheets will have to suffice without my inferno next to me. (if you haven't slept in the same bed with a guy, they're hot [by that i mean temperature]. i thought nat was fevering the first week we were married!)

Monday, January 23, 2006

taking things day by day

as i've gotten the ball rolling towards applying to the certification program here at uiuc, my brain has started thinking more and more about the future.

there are the short term things--actually running my user study, writing papers, completing classes, finishing up my thesis, applying to RECRUIT, etc.

but my mind has been focusing on more long-term things, specifically juggling a career and a family (there are a lot of babies being born at my church, and some friends that are now pregnant!): when are we going to have kids? will that affect me being in the teaching program (if i get in, and if we decide to have kids in the next year or two)? if i have kids, and i stay at home, when will i really be able to teach? should i wait to have kids until after i've taught a little bit? what if we can't have kids?

ah, all those questions. i do want a family, and i would like to have one in the next couple of years. so, i'm thinking how this will effect things--life, career, relationship with nat, etc. it's kinda crazy.

at the same time, my brain has slowed down about these things as nat and i have found out some of our friends are having marriage problems. it is quite unreal to learn about these things, and to know that these problems are real and could happen to friends, family, and even us. so, it's help me to focus more about each day, and spending it on building relationships with friends, family, and nat, and all the important things in life. what the future will bring, who knows (well, except God)? it'll just be an adventure!

Tuesday, January 10, 2006

young, old, or in the middle?

so i've put the idea of teaching on the back burner while i was on break. but now, i'm back to thinking about it again. i was talking to some of my friends about how i might go into teaching. betty suggested that i would do better teaching the old (those in college) or the young (those in elementary), rather than secondary education (6th grade - 12th grade). well the program i'm applying for is secondary education, but i had thought about doing elementary. if i wanted to do that, i would either have to do the certification more by myself, or wait to apply for fall 2007 for the masters of education program.

anyways, i guess i'm wondering what i should do. am i better suited for the young, old, or middle-aged students? thoughts?

Christmas/new year summary

quick update of what happened over break:
  • went Christmas shopping 23/24
  • went to Christmas service, went home and packed, flew out to sao paulo
  • arrived in rio (2 hours late b/c of a medical emergency on the place from DFW to sao paulo)
  • spent time on the beach (copacabana and barra), shopped, ate in rio
  • flew home at 11:30PM on new year's eve and watched the beginning of the fireworks in sao paulo as we took off to go home
  • spent time with family
  • went to houston
  • went to shelley and patrick's wedding (congrats mr. and mrs. chang!)
  • flew back to champaign
so that was my break in a nutshell. now back to work!

Thursday, January 05, 2006

hook 'em horns

first of all, merry belated Christmas, and happy belated new year! i was on the plane both days traveling to brazil. a nice vacation with the family. it was nice weather, pretty good food, nice beaches, and time with the family. i'll post about that a bit later!

i can't believe it, UT actually won the national championship! in big games, i don't like to watch the game. i get really nervous and upset when we're (we being the longhorns) are doing bad. earlier in the season when we had a scare against oklahoma state, i had to turn off the tv in the middle of the game. :P

i think that even though i wanted ut to win, i felt that we were going to lose, and lose big. but was i wrong!

for such a memorable game, nat and i missed half of it. we went to prayer meeting at church and missed the first half. i think that it was good b/c i didn't want to get too caught up in the game. the prayer meeting and just focusing on fellowship and praying really helped out a lot. it helped me not to be nervous about the game and to put it in perspective--it's just a game.

but it was still exciting to watch. close to the end of the fourth quarter, when we were down by 12, i thought the game was over. our defense had been walked on all over by usc's offense, but they stopped them when it really counted. :) then we marched down, scored, converted a 2 point conversion, and with 16 seconds left, held our breaths. but we held out! what a great end to a great season! hook 'em horns!