embrace my inner self

ok, i've been thinking a lot about it, and i'm just going to embrace my past and post about computer science stuff.

i've thought a lot about blogs lately and who reads them. at dinner group one night i was shocked to know how many people actually read my blog. as a computer scientist i'm well aware that anyone that has access to the internet can access my blog and read it. when i write my blog, i actually write thinking that only certain people will read my blog; thus, writing with them in mind. so, the idea that people outside of my intended audience are reading this is kinda scary! :) (but i don't mind). :)

for me, this begs the question of people's trust in technology and social interaction with technology. i find that more people are more willing to post things to blogs, though some of the information may be more private, than handing out to IM screen names to strangers. i wonder what makes that difference? people worry about stalkers with IM, but you might also have a blog stalker. yet, we're willing to put things in our blogs and more willing to hand it over to the community. i guess that there is still a gradation of the openness of blogs, some still holding on to their anonymity, others just being very open about who they are. in either case, i wonder if it's the social context of the blog that has helped it's explosion and popularity. are blogs one of the success stories of social interaction with technology? if so, what can we learn about blogging that can enable better social interaction with technology?

privilege of hosting

this week i have the privilege of having one of my closest friends over for the week. i'm hoping that this will be a a week of relaxation, recuperation, and healing. she has been dealing with some tough stuff that has caused her body to experience insomnia. despite her struggles, it's been amazing to see how God has been really working and speaking to her.

we had a great conversation last night about a variety of spiritual things--spiritual discipline of meditation, spiritual gifts, struggles of being wealthy, God speaking to us in different ways, how and what God has been teaching us in our lives, etc. it was so refreshing for me to just sit down and naturally talk about God and Christ, especially since i've been in a spiritual funk lately.

it's hard for me to see her struggling with things when i can see how spiritually vibrant she is. i can't help but think that satan is attacking her physically because she is growing so much spiritually. " For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms." (ephesians 6:12)

fights and love

i just wanted to say that i love nat so much. i praise God for the ways that he is "fearfully and wonderfully made" (psalm 139:14). you wouldn't think that i would have this attitude a couple hours after we had a fight, but it's true.

God has really been amazing in our relationship, even in our fights. He has allowed us to humble ourselves when we don't want to, reach out to the other even when we're upset, be open and honest even when it hurts, apologize when we feel that we can't even bring ourselves to saying the words, forgive even when the pain runs so deep, and love even when it's hard.

i praise God for nat specifically for the ways that he has chosen to pursue me even when i'm running away, love me when i'm being mean, be patient even when i'm acting like a child, and listen even when the words could be hurtful. in these ways, i embrace and really love that nat is an introvert and "non-emotional".

nat, you are an amazing husband, and i am privileged and blessed to be your wife!

my husband as my best friend?

i came to the realization yesterday that my husband really is my best friend. before, i never really thought of nat as my best friend, even early on in our marriage. i thought of him more as my lover rather than a good and close friend. after i basically unloaded what i was going through yesterday, i saw how nat is not just my lover, but my best friend. he listened attentively, encouraged me, consoled me, and offered some words of wisdom, much like my other best friends had.

i think that the intimacy that we have shared over the past 11+ months has really shaped more of our friendship rather than our romance (i think the romance was shaped more through dating and engagement). this is not to say that we didn't have a deep friendship before we got married, but i don't think i would consider nat as a "best" friend at that point. but now, i can see how nat really understands my heart, what i'm thinking, my intentions, my struggles, etc. as someone who cares deeply about me as a friend, and not someone who "ought" to b/c he's my husband. it is such a great and wonderful revelation to realize that nat is one of my closest and bestest friends. just another way where marriage has deepened our love for one another and paints a picture of our relationship with Christ.

forty plus hours and five states later....

well, they did it. :) damon and diana finally got hitched, and they are officially mr. and mrs. cook. here's a picture of the happy couple cutting their cake.

it was a nice wedding with lots of sun, but also lots of AC as well. :) it's such a big blessing to be able to witness and be apart of damon and diana's relationship. i'm so happy for them.

just an extra tidbit: damon did not propose to diana. i'm trying to decided if the proposal is necessary to be engaged. if a proposition is needed, then i can say that this has been the shortest (mainly b/c it was non-existant) engagement that i know of!

special news bulletin: adendum (from me)

i forgot to mention: the previous post does not reflect the views and the opinions of the author of this blog. in fact, it really embarrasses the author of this blog! :P

also, i am well aware that there are many husbands that would contest the findings of the research. if you do, please post a comment, and maybe nat will respond! :) i think that nat is pretty biased in his "research", but that's just me. :)

special news bulletin (from my husband):

the following is an excerpt from a nice little IM that my husband sent this morning. he's so silly! :D i love my husband, he's so sweet, even when he embarasses me!

researchers from the German telecom company Deutsche Telekom have determined that RAMONA THOMPSON is the hottest wife on the planet. said primary investigator, Nathanael Thompson, "we've been studying this issue for almost one year (11 months minus a day to be exact). Our findings reveal that not only is Ramona one sexy mama, but that she is in fact the hottest wife on the planet".

"for where your treasure is, there will be your heart also." matthew 6:21

my treasure has not been on the kingdom of God lately. i found evidence of this when i was looking at old postings of mine, where there was more adoration, praise, and in general, passionate focus on God. it seems that when i reached this point, i'm always surprised how i got here. where does my treasure lie? i want it to be heaven bound. i want it to be Christ focused, God focused. the treasure of my heart right now are world focused. they are my distractions. but, no need to despair! God has been so patient and good to me. this week in women's Bible study, we are studying the priority worship. the chapter and it's questions are everything that i need it to be--helping me focus away from myself and squarely on God. it's so amazing that God reveals Himself, His promises, and His Word in a new and refreshing ways, even when i already know these things!

motivation

don't you just hate it when you know you have work to do, but you really don't want to do it? well, i'm at that place right now. i just need to analyze a few more videos for my user study. after that, i get to clean the data up and hopefully start analyzing soon after.

the funny thing is, that i get into a zone after i've done my first one. sure it's tedious, but i think it's not so bad after i get the first two done. the problem is getting started. in my mind i think about how tedious it is, and it's really hard for me to motivate myself to do it.

some days the flexibility of being a grad student is really hard. bleh.